batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
