first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
