O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
