The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I am available for nakedness
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
