why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
