What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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