uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
God I need to hump something, right now.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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