morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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