I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
