Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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