I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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