I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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