y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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