I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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