Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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