Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
