ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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