I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
