You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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