dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
