I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
