Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
