I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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