you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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