I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
