Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
