I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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