I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
