I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
