I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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