I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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