On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
