if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
