do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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