this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
