I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
