Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Your tits are I can't wait for
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
