Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I can't turn off my feet"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
