Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
