You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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