normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize