and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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