did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
