It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
