You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize