Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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