I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
