Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
