in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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