9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
