I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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