You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Randomize
