2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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