Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
