I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Alive.
So much puke
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
