I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
