Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Randomize
