She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Use "feeling words"
Yay
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
