It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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