WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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