New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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