Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
