ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
