Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
