i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
