ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
