It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
